Thursday, March 26, 2009

Striving for More Wierdness

Random Facts About this kid:

1. I am afraid of clowns. In fact I had a nightmare about being chased by some the other nite.

2. The only card game I actually know how to play is GO FISH!

3. I never drink milk.

4. Which is probably why I break bones a lot

5. Nearly all the dogs we had as a children were named Pat

6. I have constantly itchy ears

7. I used to think all grown men had beards.

8. I have trouble swallowing bread.

9. Constantly cold feet

10. I have never found a breakfast cereal that I enjoy.

11. I don't really like shopping.

12. I am a pack-rat. I come by it honestly...through my genetics.

13. I could spend hours reading cards in the card store.

14. In my past life I'm certain I was a princess.

15. People watching is SO much fun. I like to make up life stories for people.

16. I am amazed that I can keep house plants alive!

17. I would like to find one team sport that I am good at. It makes me sad that I'm such a klutz, cuz I rather like playing sports.

18. I actually like that my nose is crooked.

19. I always read the back of the book. I can never just wait to find out what happens.

20. I have a 'Bucket List'

21. I think it's better to be wierd than ordinary. I strive for more wierdness

22. Since becoming a vegetarian, I miss bacon the most.

23. I google EVERYTHING I can think of because I over analyze and research everything.

24. I like the taste of pepto bismol

25. I am the worst gift wrapper ever. I am thankful for whomever made gift bags!

Magic Spells

I'm not talking about potions or elixers. Although I have invented a few of those in my day. Tasted dreadful. Did not work.

I'm talking about those things that happen, that have no explanation. Or a feeling you get.

I believe in magic.

When I was pregnant with Smurfette. I knew before i KNEW. I just knew. That is all.

Was dating this guy. There was a girl. A total stranger. Just one of those people you happen to see everywhere you go. My first thought was that maybe we were to be friends. She looked alot like me. One day I saw my guy, talking to this Mini-Me, and then I knew...THEY should not be friends. And when I found them in bed together months later, I was not surprised. For the next 5 years they lived and had a child together. It did not work...and now...we are good friend. Probably could have wrote that book.

One day in the middle of a snowy December. It was time. I had to go to him. HE was waiting for me. Everyone asked me why I was moving. I am sure they thought I had gone completely cheeseball, when I answered that I was going to meet my future husband. I met Handy Smurf a week after I got here.

And, my sister and I heard fairies. There IS NO other explanation. We know what we heard, and that's just the way it is.

The wind beneath my wings

Inspiration. Can it be sought do you think, or is it something that finds its way to you? People, pictures, moments in time, valiant words of wisdom, a movie. Different strokes for different folks. And what inspires you today, may not have yesterday, and may mean something completely different tomorrow.
I have mostly been inspired by people. Their actions and their words. There are certain people who will always inspire me. They are my heros, who don't wear capes or tights...although that visual is truly laughable!
These are people who stood up for what they believed, and did not back down despite how others made them feel about their choices. People who forged ahead, and showed dignity and strength despite the circumstances placed on them. Who looked tragedy in the face and kept going, and keep smiling. People who put passion into everything they do. People who think that one person can change the world, and HAVE ...mine.
When I think about my everyday heros, it changes my outlook in an instant. From doom and gloom to sunshine and butterflies. If they can do it...damn can I!
Who or what inspires you?

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

In my head...'s something I always do. I play my life out like a movie or an episode of my favorite show. A book most of the time though.
I've always done this actually. I wonder how many others actually do this? Maybe I'm the only one? Just walk around doing everyday things, playing it back like the words on a page. Take the past moment for example. In my book it would read...
“And now, she brushes back the hair on her face, reaches down takes a sip of her tea, and continues to pour her thoughts out on the laptop in front of her.”
I've never told anyone that I do this before.
Here's something else I do. When I'm feeling introspective. I ask myself big questions.
Today I ask myself this, from that saying...”Hindsight is 20/20” ...or “If you could just go back and tell yourself then, what you know now!” .
“If you could go back and change things...if you really and truly could go back, and tell your childhood self to...say for example..not take that first drag of cigarette...or not date that person , that you shoulda answered C not B or...that you really should have said yes, or no...would you?
We're not supposed to live with any regrets. Everything happens for a reason! If you did not go through all the things you have, you wouldn't be you.
But do you ever wonder what it would, or could be like? Who you might have become if you'd have just made a different decision. If you had ? Would you be a drug addicted homeless person? Could you have become a doctor? A world renowned philanthropist?A beekeeper? Someone or no-one? Would you like the same food, music? Would you still have the same ethics, or values even?Would your friends be your friends? Would you live here? Or maybe by the ocean?Would your soul mate, still have the same heart? Would your favorite color be the same? Could you go back and stomp on the dreams of that naïve, lil person you once were? Would the you, you used to be, even listen?
Then, I put the two together. I believe it's called daydreaming.
Let's do it together, it's fun.
In the it out like a movie in your head, whatever.... there's a person. It is you. Your voice is the same, you look like you. But a different you. Maybe you're on a plane. As the plane descends, you look out the window, trying to see through the clouds to the city that is below. The plane lands, and you walk out into a different life. This happens again and again. Each time you disembarks, you are you , but circumstances are different. Maybe in one 'life' as you get off the plane,you realize that you are wearing the orange jumpsuit of a criminal, your arms and legs in shackels. Being led off by guards. You look... Sad and pathetic. evil and full of hate. Or, with no feeling at all. And you wonder...what happened to this person? You want to know how you came to be here? Did something traumatic happen? What makes a person get to this point? Will you get back up from rock bottom?
Or not so dramatic...
You stand up in an crisp navy blue business suit, and ask the assistant beside you if she's called and booked your room yet? You reaches down, pick up a briefcase and march off the plane into a blazing sun, answering a cell phone. A high-powered business person. You wonder what you do exactly? Do you live some place warm? What kind of car do you drive? What did you have to do to get here? Does this make you happy?
Or maybe something along the lines of,
A carefree, tree-hugging, hippy landing in Africa on your next mission to save the rainforest. Sandals on your feet, hair that hasn't seen a comb in days.
A high rise window washer. Or a celebrity. A server in a bar. Trailer park trash. A rock star. A dentist.
Or whoever you want to be.
The proud, and lucky owner of a very fantastic, and average life! A genuine and cool human. Doing neat things and having fun doing them. Trying hard every day. Learning from mistakes. Not taking back one moment, because it got you here and you like it here.
It will still be your're still the same you. Doing the things you always do, and have always done.
"She stood up and turned off the computer, smiling to herself, pleased with herself. Somehow, she managed to snag her big toe on the coffee table and hitting the floor with a howl, “Doh,” she said.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Ghouled Cheese

There is a ghost here, in my home.
My husband, (whom I've chosen to call Handy Smurf, henceforth on this blog) thinks I have lost the last remaining marble but his explaination for the noises doesn't make sense. I think he just wants me to go back to sleep.
So here's the deal:
Smurfette (daughter) couldn't sleep one nite because of strange noises upstairs on the roof. This coming from a girl who slept on the couch for 3 weeks because of the 'hamster ghost' (story in a story....hamster died in her room!...sigh It was blackmail...the only way to get rid of hamster ghost was to get a new one....which i caved into..and 1 week later she let go and it went down the heating register...but slay the ghost it did (??hmm??) and back upstairs she now sleeps. We are not meant to have pet hamsters) Did not believe this tale, but go lay down with her anyways. Fall into awkward sleep on small bed. Wake up...HEAR wierd noises!! Now...I am not one to spazz out, so I considered.'s the middle of winter and -40 in Whoville....spiderman is not lurking up there...theives/killers would be wise enough to use the doors, and there are no branches near. Then...another BANG!! From the other corner!! WTF!!
That's it...I'm waking up Handy Smurf! Who is NOT impressed to awoken from slumber breaking on the roof. Maybe this is correct. Nothing else makes sense. I eventually accept this as truth and fall asleep.
A month goes la la....Beetlejuice is silent.
And THEN...
It was the night before Wednesday, and all was silent. Not a creature was sturring...not even a hamster ghost.
THUNGA BANG! Right beside my head. In my room. Sounded like someone pounding on the wall. As if! I am WIDE awake.
1/2 hr goes by. THUD!!! In the closet. In my room.
1/2 hr or so. WHOMP!! Behind the bed!!
Okay...I reason with myself. THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP!!
Someone is running up and down the stairs??? Smurfette? Nope. No one there.
No one anywhere. I want to be badass. I want to be unafraid. I want to be Ghost Whisperer.
"Stop making a racket please. I am trying to sleep!" I whisper into the night. And I am thirsty but too chickenshit to go to the kitchen. "And could you get me some water?"
No one anywhere.
WHACK! Door. Handy Smurf...GET UP!!!
Now...Handy Smurf checks it all out...and gives me the same 'ice breaking' idea. How can this be?? Ice breaking on the roof, on the 2nd story, making running noises on the stairwell, and pounding noises in our room?? Not buying it. I let him think I did because I'm tough and no nonsense wifey. And he's grumpy when I wake him in the middle of the nite.

But secretly, I feel there's a mischeivous little ghouly bugger here.
I don't mind it living here, as long as it is friendly.
But if I awake to some see-thru little rodent jawing my schnooz during my slumber that's another story!!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009


I'm rather unsure if that's the spelling, but i'm absolutely sure that no matter how ya spell it....this word ROCKS!! I love it, try to use it whenever possible, and giggle out loud when others do!

Life is full of schinanigans...well it is when you're me. Always been that way...finally come to the realization that it always will be. I will be the ol' lady causing trouble in the home. I've already decidided that one of the weekly activities should so be a weekly wheelchair race.

Anyway....latest schinanigans in the Girled Cheese world. Let's see...

- decided maybe would like to be a yoga instructor.

- our dog get's jealous when myself and DH 'wrestle' and has taken to eating the garbage to show his displeasure. Looked this up on the internet...but let's just say the search results were..strange.

-went to the big city to visit some friends from college.Partied like was still in college. Felt the table was a preferable place to show off my dance moves, which consisted of hitting the floor hard, and nearly getting tossed out the door by a burly bouncer man. Took 2 days to recover, and have lots of now green bruises to remind myself of why shooters are bad.

-Grew a big zit on my chin. It actually hurts. Won myself a free facial today. I don't want the lady to see my zit. Why is that?? It's like shaving when you go to the doctor. But I got some new cleanser at LUSH in the city. Hoping this will cure my chinacne. Got some solid sha-mpoo and conditioner too. Little bit wierd to use, but so far, so good.

-worked out way too hard after had brillant yoga instructor idea. 2 1/2 hours too hard and pulled muscles in both my calves. Couldn't walk for 2 days. Stairs were brutal, and DD thought I needed a walker. She's hilarious hey!!

Oh facial is in a few minutes. I'm crossing my fingers she just doesn't say anything about the zit. Although I'll prolly get nervous and bring it up myself...sigh. See what schinanigans I can get into this week!! ;)