Friday, July 16, 2010

Tony's Turn to Talk

A Day In the Life of My Dog Tony

7:50 a.m.
"Yawn! Oh gosh, my balls are itchy!" Scratch, scratch. Lick, lick
"I wonder what my gal Mia downstairs is up to?" "Betcha her bum smells good today!"
Downward Dog stretch. "Oh look, my pets are up!"
"They love it when I lick my balls first, then their faces. Then they are for sure gonna give me food!"
"Hi, Hi! Good Morning pet!" Now I will follow them to the bathroom so they don't forget to give me FOOD!"
"Why do they pee on that white thing?" "Oh, Oh,I will prance around in the bathtub for a bit. Fresh water from the tub is my favorite! Come on human, get over here and turn this on!!"
"Ya, ya! Way to go my pet. If only I had thumbs, i could do it myself!"
Slurp, Slurp, Slurp. "Better drink fast, never know when I'll get to drink again."
"Oh, Oh...hold up there human lady! I need to pee! Why does she always go to that machine, and make that brown drink first thing? I need to PEE!!!!! I will sniff and whine at the back door until she gets the hint! Oh, Oh!! Here we go! Hello lady friend, let's both go out and pee!"
"Ah....relief! I want to run around! Ya...ooooh and sniff the entire yard! Yahoo!! And let's play fight with Mia! Ya!!! Oh fun!"
"Ah...well that was alot of work! Let me in lady...let me back in!" Bark, bark. "I'm tired!! Oh look at she is now. She has that scolding look....she doesn't like when I make noise I don't think. I don't understand. I am talking no?? I just asked nice to be let back in!?"
"Hey!!! What a good little human after all! She put out food. Awwww!"
"What a minute!!! I take that back! This gross, brown crunchy stuff AGAIN?? I want bacon...or toast...or anything that the humans have! It smells SO much better than this yuck! I will stare at her, and see if she gives me any of what she's got there"...STARE!
"Nothing! Ugh...fine...I'll eat it!"
"Back to sleep. YES! Now that my pet's are outta bed, I get to drool on their soft pillows! Awww.Bliss!

12:04 p.m
Sniff, sniff. "I smell human food again! I am gonna go say Hi, and kiss her leg. See if she'll give me any then!!"
"Oh , a head pat...a little rub! Yeah...this is looking good for me. Possibly she'll give me some sandwich!"

"OH NO!!!! She didn't even drop a chunk...oh wait...I see some crumbs! Sweet!"

"Hey, hey...she's laying down on the comfy couch!! Awesome. Time to do some human licking. They are so salty!"
"UMPH! She pushed me off! I will try again."

"Herumph. Alright, I will go lay down over here and give her my best 'how cute am I?" look. That sometimes works."

"We're going somewhere! She's getting her shoes on and everything. Superdeedooper! I can't wait!!"
"Awwww!!...why did she just close the door on me?? Hey...Pet,where ya going? Where do you go everyday?"
" Awwwww, I want to go!"
"I am gonna wake up the miniature human girl. Ya!"
"I'll jump on her and Lick her!!!! Oh....she's blocked me again! Darn gate in the way."
"Sleep I quess."

"My pets are back!  Awesome. The male one always plays with me! Oh he comes now. Ahhhhh....he's rubbing my back...oooh a bit down...over...yup...that's the spot...oh I love it!!
More, more!!"
"Oh you deserve many licks for that!!"
"Where is my toy? I will get my toy and I will dance around until he plays with me now! He rocks!"
"She's cooking!!! Oh yeah!! Something on the cooking thing outside! I smell meat. I smell delicious meat!! Oh I want some...please, please! See me...feed me somma dat!!! Oh it smells like heaven.  I hope I get me some! Oh...she's walking right by me with it...I will dance, I will twirl. I will lay down, and sit. Whatever you want, just GIVE ME SOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


"Fine. I'll go lick my balls on the couch."

"My pets said the W word. WALK! I know what that means!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will mark EVERYTHING! The world is mine."
"Away we go. Yipeeee! This is great. I wish they would let me go off this string thing. I would run fast. I would run free."
"Hello there other dog! I am Tony! Let me sniff you're bum!"
"Hello there new human! Let me jump up and lick you!"
"Hello there cat!! I shall chase you!"
"Why did you stop me from getting that cat, human lady!?"
"WHy does she insist I walk next to her. I want to go here. I want to go there. I want to go everywhere!"
Pee on this. Pee on that. "Yup. ALL MINE NOW!"
" I shall have a dump right here on this lawn! Ah ha ha....the humans have to pick it up. Why does the lady make such awful noises when she's doing that. Oh my!"

"Oh...we're home. I shall get them to feed me, water me, and then I shall curl up between them and sleep!
Sigh...this is the life!!!!!!! I can't wait til tomorrow. Maybe the pillows will wink at me, and I will hump them! It's good to be me...Tony!"

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