Bittersweet

I came here today by myself for a reason. I didn't want anyone to see it. The Packing up.  I needed some time alone with my home.

It's a wonder I've been procastinating....:S It's an overwhelming thing....moving your life. All my papers and clothes. Stuff. I needed to be alone for a bit with it all... But still...I thought I'd share the raw of it.

Onward and upward!!

Ok...That's just me being positive.

To be honest, I have to dig deep to keep the smile on about this one. It's using a portion of my strength that's fo sho.

I get mad about having to leave it behind. My big mistake mocking me from the empty walls. The boxes everywhere now holding old and new dreams. About how much it's cost me. Grrrr....frustrating, disappointing. I feel like I could grab a sharpie and write Breakable on all the boxes.

...I want to know if you can live with failure

yours and mine

and still stand at the edge of the lake

and shout to the silver of the full moon,

"Yes."...

~© Oriah Mountain Dreamer, The Invitation, www.oriahmountaindreamer.com

Afterward, I made this place all ours...my daugheter and mine. I painted the wall blue late one night. I let my ideas flow, and did exactly as I wanted. Liberating....fresh. And so everywhere, in every lil' nook, it became our home. Within these walls we learned to keep going. I found my self again. Or for the first time.

In my peaceful again, lavender bedroom I had made my sanctuary from the outside that was continuously falling, I re-built my life from the inside out. In my soothing bathroom, I warmed up....

And now it's time to put it all in boxes, move it, and not look back.

I am ready. I accept it, and look forward to the next chapter in the saga.

Push forward. Never, ever give up. It's a Journey.

One may go a long way after one is tired. ~French Proverb

But... thats not to say that packing it up isn't hardwork.

Of which I must do.

People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them. ~G.B. Shaw, Mrs. Warren's Profession, 1893