Be still my heart

Patience: A minor form of despair disguised as a virtue. ~Ambrose Bierce

I wait. And I wait. I am in limboland...waiting. And I've never been very good at it...but I'm getting all kinds of practice now.

I wait for someone to purchase my house so I may begin my search for a new home. The anticipation of where this may be, when this may be...I want to start my 'new' life NOW.

I have searched, and waiting for my one true love to arrive. He is here now. I want to frolick with him all the rest of my days. To have the other stuff gone...so I can relax and enjoy his presence. I want to do that now.

"Why wait?...start now...this very minute. Live it." that's what my mind says.

In some ways I am. But with certain matters, beyond my control I cannot rush.

So...I wait.

Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them - every day begin the task anew.
Saint Francis de Sales

I wait for a diagnosis. I wait in waiting rooms, doctors offices, for the specialist appointment, on my porcelian throne for it to be over. I wait for answers.

Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

I wait for Sept 7th, 2010. I can almost taste the freedom of that day. 1 year. No longer married to it. Free from the mistake I made. Free to officially move on. No longer anyone's wife. Just me. I wait....

“The keys to patience are acceptance and faith. Accept things as they are, and look realistically at the world around you. Have faith in yourself and in the direction you have chosen.”

I wait for lawyers to do their jobs, I wait for my money back, for the day when she and I can do more than just argue, I wait for the rain to end. For a miracle to occur. I wait for some good news for a change. I wait for Sundays, and days off. I wait in my meantime. I work on my tolerance. I work on my patience.

Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow - that is patience.”

I can feel it growing, I can hear it's sigh, taste it's sweetness, but I cannot touch. I can sense that it's just around the corner. I want to run out and greet it, give it a great big hug but I know I will just be disappointed as it won't be there...not yet anyway. I grow weary of this constant dance. Of this constant chase. Of it's constant teasing, just out of reach prescence. Time is slipping through our fingers...tomorrow isn't promised to any of us.

Faith is not simply a patience that passively suffers until the storm is past. Rather, it is a spirit that bears things - with resignations, yes, but above all, with blazing, serene hope.”

Perhaps there is a reason for which is unknown to me that I am being asked to wait...

The heart has reasons that reason does not understand.”

I have no choice, no control over how long I shall have to wait.

I shall continue. I shall wait..and hope.

“The two most powerful warriors are patience and time.”

Good comes to those who wait.........