Lessons

What I've Learned

I've learned that you can't make someone love you
All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in

I've learned that no matter how much I care,
Some people are just assholes

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust
And it only takes suspicion, not proof to destroy it

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes
After that you better have a big weenie or honkin' horns

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others
They are more screwed up than you think

I've learned that you you can keep puking
Long after you think you've finished

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do
Unless we are celebrities

I've learned that regardless of how hot & steamy a relationship is
The passion fades and there better be a lot of money in place

I've learned that we don't have to ditch bad friends
Because their dysfunction makes us feel better about ourselves

I've learned no matter how you try to protect your children
They'll eventually get arrested and end up in the paper

I've learned that the people you care most about in life
Are taken from you too soon
And the less important ones just never go away

I've learned to say "F" em if they can't take a joke
In six languages